"Gluttony" an original poem

I'm writing this as an apology, for you, and for me.
Though there aren't enough lines to place my rhymes to atone for my hypocrisy.
I eat and I drink and I smoke all too much.
It depletes how I think and invokes lack of trust.
While I bitch and I moan on how others indulge,
I consume much in secret afraid to divulge.
You watch, and I watch you watching me
Hoping you don't intervene in my complacency.
As I find I have needs which I can't explain,
Like the gin and tonic that seems to ease pain
Till my sins turn to vomit and I find I'm insane.

Or the need for the smoke that hurries my death
As I inhale the puff and I exhale my breath.
The menthol taste that I get on my tongue
As it makes its way down to the heart of my lungs.
But I fear not a thing...though my noose has been hung.

So take me as I am, a gluttonous wretch
Which soils the earth and defiles our nest,
But know that I love you with all of my heart.
All of it...every last mother fucking part!